It is truly going so well but I honestly am not sure how? Coffee has something to do with it.
Ok coffee and a mantel of grace...
It is truly a living one foot in front of the other life right now. I feel I am in a fog of things that are happening to me and I am floating from one thing to the next. This move is happening.
I sat in my broken lawn chair with my baby a few weeks ago as the moving company guy did an assessment of our goods. I cried. We dropped off our Suburban a few days ago and now the packers are here.
I have been telling my friends it feels like labor. Without fail, five times now, my body went into labor and there was just no stopping it. I laugh looking back on my Little Flower's birth story, I had to yell to the doctor to change into her scrubs, which she did, and she caught the baby just in time. It was along the lines of "This baby is coming, there is no stopping her! I can't help but push! She is coming."
Well, the move is coming in contractions and it is out of my control. I am simply breathing.
As my dear friend Lindy texted me as I sat in our empty master bedroom full of boxes...
We are bobbing alone in the ocean and God is our life vest.
And I'm in this ocean feeling so alone but I wanted to write to Lindy and let her know...I have found an island of stability out here in this Vastness....
Yes! Oh my goodness I see so clearly who this little one is and why she needed to be here NOW!
When I was first pregnant with her, I did the Coast Guard math in my head, and I knew we would be moving with an almost crawler. I assumed that she would make things a little more challenging.
No. Not the case at all. You see, God...in His wisdom...knew that leaving Juneau...leaving our home and Alaskan family of six years was going to be a great trial for us. He knew there would be tears and tight throats and sick with nerves stomachs. He knew we would keep our Sunday and that the Eucharist would sustain us...but He didn't just want to sustain, He wanted to comfort us.
He said...I will give them their Little Flower.
She will be their tiniest baby, staying small, actually fitting into what the clothes tag says. She will have a gummy smile even at eight months and will make sherberts in Church and hiccup. She will be a cuddly baby. She will lay her head close to their chests when they hold her and cling like a koala.
Yes, I have a beautiful island of stability in this move. She comforts me. She doesn't let me get too wrapped up in the move because she reminds me of what is most important. Her sisters and brother can count on her for a good laugh, we can't dwell too long on how sad we are that we have to say goodbye....but just for now goodbyes (we keep saying).
We will be back. Juneau has spoiled us in this way and made us a bit....determined.
|One last picture in our home before the movers come.|
Your baby comes when he or she is needed. Our backwards society seems to think God throws a wrench into our plans when we get pregnant. Sometimes young mommies believe this, even if they are joyful, they still worry. The Comforter says, "You need this baby and in My timing. Be not afraid."
OK! Thank you for the prayers! Do you see I got a new camera? It is used off of Craigslist and I am enjoying it so much. I do still need to pull in, but wow, Holy Spirit prompt! xxoo